Our non-traditional division of labor.

... here's how our life is getting done.

Over a plate of good ‘ol American burgers (all the best conversations are had over food, after all) Stuart and I were recently asked about our division of labor in the home. Many of you have been alongside us through our various stages… for years, Stuart was a Classical Christian School teacher, laboring and growing in his profession. Then Stuart stepped back from primary roles in the school and began to teach part-time… and finally stepped away entirely. I believe that was in 2017.

Many of you have also been here to see The Elliott Homestead develop from a simple mom-blog, full of dreams and goals for our not-yet-born family, to what it is today: a YouTube channel, Cooking Community, Che Vita Trips to Italy, and now an online store, Limone.

You may have also already noticed that it is I (Shaye), who sits down to greet you here multiple times each week.

This is an intimate topic for us, but it’s also a topic I find relevant, humbling, and important for others to understand. I’ll do my best to explain our non-traditional division of labor in our family in hopes that at the very least it answers the question “How the heck does Shaye do it all!” and at best gives you a bit of hope if your situation is also a bit non-traditional as well.

Let’s just jump right in.

• Our kids are 14, 12, 10, and 9 currently.

• We have homeschooled them from the very beginning.

• Stuart grew up in a Classical Christian School. His Dad was the headmaster and also his pastor.

Perhaps for a bit of brevity, I’ll wrap up a decade of life by simply stating that our homeschooling endeavors with our children have always been shared. While Stuart was teaching (and then teaching part time), I was on deck for training up our little ones. This worked well for us at the time, as I was pregnant and/or lactating for many years in a row. Tucking in at home with the children, beginning to build our homestead back here in Washington, and spending time with them was my hearts delight. Truly.

me with my first self-published book, From Scratch, circa 2013

As the kids grew, so did our little “side-gig” of The Elliot Homestead. I enjoyed writing during nap-time, sharing anecdotes from our days on the farm, and piecing together my first self-published cookbook. I worked in the early morning hours, in a few free moments during the day, and late into evening. While this may seem a bit exhausting, I found it a balm to a loud and full day.

So for the past decade, Stuart and I have both worked and both schooled the children in various ways. Some years we split it up by subject - I’ll take this, you take that. Other years, we’d split it up by days of the week. And yet other years, we’d simply patchwork together something around the work-requirements for that season.

Our family has always had a few very clear priorities. Namely:

• Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength

• Educate our children in the way they should go

• Keep a roof over our heads

Though the adaptations have been many over the years, meeting these priorities is still our continued… well, priority.

I have a Bachelors Degree but I am far from “educated” in the traditional, Classical Christian education-sense. Even at 14, Georgia has far surpassed me in knowledge of the classics and the story of the world. She has read far more literature and engaged in “the great conversation” in meaningful and thoughtful ways. I’ll keep what they study mostly absent in this email (just know I have a husband willing and eager to talk about education, the classics, curriculum, and the philosophy of education to no end… leave a comment below if you want that!).

All that’s to say, it became very obvious to Stuart and I half-way through this past year that our division of labor was a bit tangled.

I would be recording a podcast before slipping to the kitchen table for a kid’s math lesson. Half-way through a work day, I’d need to pop out to administer a test or run the kids to piano. Wait, who was going to cover Juliette’s penmanship for the day? Our efforts were constantly torn between the work that kept a roof over our heads and our other priority, which was educating the children.

The days often left us feeling defeated.

Stuart and I are talkers: we talk a lot together. In the morning, when the rest of the world is quiet, we sip coffee in bed and talk. In doing so, we process thoughts, emotions, and problems. (Actually - I should clarify, I talk a lot. Stuart is a world-class listener and problem-solver. So for us, it works.) This “division of labor” problem continued to come up in these conversations. We both felt we were doing a bad job on all fronts.

And so… our non-traditional division of labor was born.

Stuart leads our family in many ways and for the next decade, he is also charged with leading our children’s education. This means that Stuart:

• has complete control over curriculum

• heads up involvement with our church’s coop

• keeps transcripts for our upper-school student

• administers tests

• sits down with the kids every school day, all day

• intentionally focuses on the next-level of education

• gives his complete devotion and attention to their education

• is in charge of what extracurricular activities we say yes to

• … but as these home-operations go, he’s also still our video editor for YouTube and The Cooking Community. This work is often done in the wee hours of the morning for him, before the school day begins.

By the way, he’s the only homeschool Dad that I currently know of. Isolating - yes. But between the two of us, he is uniquely charged and uniquely gifted to do so. Now that the kids are older, and I no longer need to teach them their shapes and colors (glory days!), he is able to educate them on subjects like Logic, Bible, Latin, and History. His knowledge, abilities, and never-ending patience are great gifts to our family.

… and then there’s me.

…production and creation-minded from the womb. I won’t say gifted, but uniquely motivated no-doubt. My role now is to help our family in our third priority: keeping a roof over our heads. What began as a simple website years ago has now grown and changed in un-imaginable ways. The Elliott Homestead is our family’s only source of income - myself and our small team are doing our best to ensure that carries well into the future. This is my charge.

So if you’re wondering “how I do it all”, I don’t. I’m no longer the homeschooling Mom that I once was. I have a bit of fear in sharing this - and quite a bit of fear-of-missing-out as well. But the Lord has given us the gift of being “a full time family” and I don’t want to be ungrateful for the path we’re on. Daily bread.

All that being said, I’ve still been able to find some capacity to tutor a small class in our coop, participate in extra curricular activities, feed all the people, and be a part of the family in a full-time way (after all, we work and school alongside each other).

But the bottom line is I want my children to be educated by Stuart. And in educating them, he’s able to also bless many in our church coop with his gift. The Lord is using him as a unique gift to our family and also to other families in our community.

So we not only accept but also give thanks for this non-traditional division of labor.

… it’s how our life is getting done.

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It’s worth giving a from-the-bottom-of-my-heart thank you to those of you who have supported The Elliott Homestead in so many different ways over the years.

Thank you to our paid-newsletter supporters. Thank you to our Limone customers. Thank you to our YouTube community. Thank you to our Cooking Community members. Thank you to our Che Vita guests.

… and thank you for all your kind comments, shares, follows, and likes. Every single one matters to our business. We’re just a small-family operation - your support keeps the lights on, the words flowing, and our kids learning Latin.

Love,